I remembered the time when I was so eager to become a lawyer. The time when I wanted to study criminal law and eventually become a detective agent like FBI. I was so young then but it has been a dream for me to investigate and analyze crimes and help solve it. I imagined myself wearing corporate attire with my briefcase full of cases to solve. Well my mom’s working in the court. Seeing her attend criminal cases almost everyday made me more anxious to become part of that field. Since then I started reading books/novels that involved crimes and how they fathom what really happened. Sydney Sheldon, John Grisham, Robert Ludlum, just to name a few. It was so exciting. The suspense, the thrill, the adventure, the anxiety. Goosebumps indeed. That moment when I don’t want to let go of the book unless it’s done. And that very heroic moment when I felt like I’m that main character who saved the day. (Paused. Smiled while remembering those intense feeling.) So when I was on the part where I have to decide my course, I chose to study Accountancy. And that’s merely because of the law subjects. (I don’t know what got into me.)
After four colorful and extreme years in college, I applied as Customer Service Representative and was hired. Worked for almost three years and totally put my ambition behind. It seems that fate wants me to explore new things. Things I never dared imagined. I learned a lot in the call center industry. Lessons I’d forever treasure. But I came to a point where I got tired of my daily routine. Motivation is totally gone. I remembered I wanted to pursue law and hoping I’ll get the chance. But to my dismay, I just couldn’t. And I had this everyday fight with myself so as to what to do and what road to take in life. I was standing in a not so dark place and not moving at all. I felt so clueless. I just have no plans. Totally blank. I’m not proud of me. And it was killing me. And when all my hopes were gone, an opportunity knocked on my doorstep. An opportunity I never visualized doing. This thing requires confidence and skills. Determination and patience. Things I don’t think I have. Tsk! But then again I had to be positive. I thought it should be a blessing. I thought of it as the answer to my prayers. A guide to where I should go. A sign for me to be able to continue my life’s journey.
Trainer. Yes. You heard it right. From my dream of becoming a lawyer, the accountancy degree, the customer service experience and now to training people for them to get a job. It’s like jumping from earth to mars. That’s how I see it. And yes, I’ve joined a lot of organizations and even experienced leading a team but it is still different from drilling people to gain confidence. But since I’m that person who would rather go for change than get stagnant, I accepted the job. Just told myself, “I can do this.” And now after almost six months, I’m happy to say that I have no regrets. My job has taught me a lot of new things. It brought out the thing I never thought I’m good at. And that’s talking to people. Encouraging and motivating people. Letting them know that there’s no such thing as hopeless. Making them realize or unravel their strengths, instigating them to the things they are capable of doing. Helping them achieve their dreams. Such a fulfillment. And I also get to encounter the other side of me. I realized I have these things I should be proud of. Confidence. Patience. Flexibility. Initiative. Interpersonal skills. And I even have to study technical stuff so that I can be an effective teacher. That means I’m not that scared now. Scared to try new things. To broaden my horizon. To test myself to be able to know my limit. And I am happy and thankful for the chance to prove my self worth.
I may not be a lawyer in suit and briefcase or an accountant with a pen and worksheets but I am proud of the person I’ve become. With my whiteboard and marker, I know I can do a lot. I will be forever be grateful for this. So glad to be me. Not perfect but am sure I have something to offer, how little it may be. :))))))